How To eat An Oreo Cookie
by LouLouCullen
Summary: Bella teaches Edward how to properly eat an Oreo cookie and reveals a new secret to him. Edward's family finds this experience entertaining and Edward ends up with one of his fantasies coming true. ONE SHOT PLS R&R! Rated T because I am paranoid!


How To Eat An Oreo Cookie

Edward's Point Of View

Sitting in the living room watching 'Transformers 2: The revenge of the Fallen' with Bella; Esme had brought Bella one of her favorite snacks, cookies and milk. Cookies and milk was not something I could ever remember eating as a human. "I can't ever remember eating cookies with milk," I had the sudden urge to share this news with Bella, "as a human." Bella had a horrified expression on her face, it alarmed me a little.

"You don't remember?" Bella asked quietly; her warm hands cupped my face looking for something in my eyes, I had no idea what she was searching for—or what she would find.

_"Are you serious, Eddie boy?"_ Emmett laughed in his thoughts_ "Poor bastard…you don't know what you missed."_ He laughed again, before his mind went silent as he was trying to remember the memory for himself—with no such luck—_"guess I fit in that category too, I don't remember either."_ Emmett's thoughts drifted to another topic, which I didn't much care for, so I skipped out of his head.

"Well then," Bella said pulling me from my own string of memories again "I guess I will just have to teach you." Bella's perfect shell pink lips curled into a small, adorable smile. "No one—Vampire or human alike—should have to go through life and not know how to eat an Oreo cookie! It's practically criminal." Bella was trying to be serious with me, but her playful nature was getting in the way—it was one of the reasons I fell in love with her. "Hundred year old vampire doesn't know how to eat an Oreo cookie" Bella mumbled to herself, shaking her head in astonishment. "And they talk about keep up a human appearance! That should ruin your human facade right there!"

The movie was totally forgotten by this time.

"You act as though, I should know this; that we all should know how to do this." I chuckled kissing the top of her head. "It really isn't that bad of a thing to live without, love." I said as Bella crawled out of my lap to sit beside me on the couch—apparently, I was getting a lesson on how to eat an Oreo cookie.

"Oh but it is!" Bella exclaimed placing a cookie in my hand. "Watch me first," Bella instructed more seriously this time, "you have to carefully twist apart both side of the cookie first." Bella instructed as she gently—as she could—took her cookie between both of her thumbs, pointer fingers and middle fingers, and twisted the two cookie halves apart. "You have to try and get one of the cookie sides off without any icing on it, leaving all of the icing on the other side." One of the cookie sides came off perfectly, with no icing on it what so ever; Bella placed it on the table in front of her.

_"Eddie, taking lessons from a human…so very entertaining!_" Amazingly, and annoyingly enough these thoughts were coming from three different people, yet they were all saying the same thing. Of course those voices had to be from Emmett, Rose and Jasper.

_ "He must be head over heels for that girl,"_ Esme chuckled in her thoughts; Carlisle was working, but I am sure someone would tell him what had transpired at home today.

I made sure to give Bella my undivided attention—minus the voices in my head—and not upset her; Bella was still in the middle of giving me my lesson. To my great embarrassment, Carlisle was now home, and with the crowd of on lookers. _"It was worth getting off ten minutes early to see this!"_ Carlisle thoughts were howling in laughter; his lips—along with the rest of my families—were in a night line, not daring to laugh and see this through until the end.

"Then you take your pointer finger to the side that has the icing on it, and gently slide your finger along the cookie, lifting the icing off and onto your finger." I watched irrationally eager to see if it was actually going to work; and it did. The icing lifted right off the cookie and onto Bella's pointer finger. Then without warning, Bella opened her mouth to slide the icing on her tongue; her lips closed around her finger, and she gently sucked her finger clean.

It was a surprisingly sensual experience to watch; the way Bella's finger slid in and out of her mouth, I could even hear her tiny little tongue making noises as she swirled it around her finger. I had to keep a clear head, my thoughts were drifting off to places they should not be going right now; I was picturing Bella fully naked as she sucked her finger, hear the swirling of her tongue, the sweet taste of her scent on her finger from her saliva. I tried to quickly shake the image from my head, but another one quickly popped into my mind; Bella's finger was replaced by my cock in her mouth. Her hot tongue swirling around my shaft, as her head bobbed up and down gently, her teeth gently grazing my hard marble like skin, to cause more friction, her hot breath sending jolts of electricity through my body.

I was so lost in my own fantasy that I had not noticed Bella trying to get my attention; her hand was waving in front of my face. "Edward…Edward…are you even listening to me, Edward?" Bella asked with an adorable little pout on her lips; I quickly kissed it away.

"Forgive me, love, my mind was elsewhere, but I did manage to get all of your wonderful instructions down." I half lied; I knew what to do, but the places my mind had gone was not exactly elsewhere—it was a place I traveled to on a regular basis when she was either not with me or when she was sleeping.

"Well are you going to try it out or not? I have been waiting." Bella scolded me gently nudging my arm in encouragement.

"Yeah! Eddie, Eddie; he's our man, if he can't eat human food, none of us can!" Emmett and Jasper shouted in chorus from the couch; I had not even realized they had come into the room. Bella was quietly shaking with laughter beside me, while everyone else was just plain laughing at me.

"Ignore them Edward" Bella coaxed me gently, "I have another thing to tell you about myself…but only if you do this for me; I promise you won't have to eat it." Bella shuttered beside me. Bella wasn't a fan of having to watch us eat human food; she said it repulsed her, as much as it would repulse us to watch her drink a cup full of blood. It was my turn to shudder.

Following Bella's instructions; I held the cookie in-between my two thumbs, my pointer fingers and both my middle fingers, and gently twisted them apart with one side with no icing on it. _"It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be."_ I thought to myself, as I placed the icing free side of the cookie in Bella's hand—she ate it while I followed the rest of her instructions. I gently scraped off the icing with my pointer finger and smiled to myself. "See…easy!" I said triumphantly; it really wasn't as bad as I had feared it to be.

"Not bad for someone who has lived a hundred plus years, not knowing how to eat an Oreo cookie." Bella giggled beside me.

I was about to wipe off the icing off my finger, and back onto the cookie's surface, but Bella had other plans. Bella took her hand in mine, lowering her mouth to my finger so painfully slow and seductively. It was just as I fantasized , not even ten minutes ago; Bella's tongue swirled around my finger, gently sucking off icing, her hot breath sending jolts of electricity though my body, her saliva coating my finger…I was in a very dangerous heaven.

Bella shifted onto her knees to lower her mouth even more on to my finger; taking my entire finger in her mouth—and it was a feat, Bella had a tiny mouth—I was afraid she would choke herself. I gently pulled my finger out of her mouth, desperately trying to clear my thoughts into more respectable, gentlemanly thoughts.

"Bella…I…really don't…want you to…choke or gag." I breathed kicking myself for even thinking the words that would end my simple pleasure. Bella's answering smile was dazzling; as if I was missing some sort of private joke, Bella confused me to no end some times.

Bella crawled into my lap straddling me, her fingers wove together with mine, her body pressed close to mine; I could feel her warmth spreading through my body like a wild fire. Her hot breath against my skin, ticking me, crawling across my skin and into my lungs, filling my lungs with her sweet scent; I could feel the tip of her nose skim the length of my throat. I couldn't believe it, Bella had never been this way with me before—not even with us totally alone. I couldn't keep my eyes from rolling back into my head; Bella's tongue hot as fire licked the length of my neck, a hiss escaped my lips, and I grabbed her hips tightly in my grasp.

I was torn between wanting her to continue, wanting to know her new secret, and wanting her to stop all together—we were not alone in the room, at all. I was just about to remind Bella to tell me what it was she was going to tell me, but she beat me too it. "Do you want to know my new secret now Edward?" Bella purred seductively in my ear, grinding her hips a little. I was about to rip off all of her clothes and have my way with her right here on the couch, if she did that grinding thing again—my erection was painfully hard and large—there was no stopping me.

"Yes" I breathed trying to force myself not to make love to her on the couch, with my family watching. Finally managing to open my eyes, my eyes locked with Bella's; what I saw did not help my resolve. Bella's eyes were filled with an undiluted burning of passion and lust; I could smell her arousal, and it was driving me insane to no end—I was now a desperate man, hanging on by a thread.

"My secret is" she breathed in my ear, taking the finger that she had licked clean, down her top; my nails popped off all the buttons, I could hear them falling in her lap. "My secret is…I have no gag reflex." My eyes grew wide with excitement and shock; Bella had no gag reflex.

A man's dreams could come true.

"You don't…have…how…much…long?" I had to know how much she could take, I was so lost in her teasing; I didn't care that everyone in the house was watching us. Bella was never like this…ever, and I was not going to put a stop to it, now.

"Fourteen inches," Bella whispered in my ear, grinding my hips again. "Maybe if you're a good boy…I'll show you some time, and swallow you whole." Bella shifted in my lap, wigging herself off my throbbing erection, threatening to break though the seam of my pants—I did the mental math in my head, from the throb of my erection, and the feel of my skin against my pants; ten inches, maybe more, definitely not less than that.

Bella quickly grabbed a throw pillow and placed it in my lap, to hide the giant bulge in my pants. "Down boy, I'll ride you later." Bella giggled walking away swinging her hips.

I was shocked beyond all reason; I had never been so sexually excited in all of my existence. The room had totally cleared out, besides Emmett; his mouth was hanging open, eyes wide with shock, his thoughts blank. "I have never been so turned on in my entire existence." I muttered staring blankly at the wall—then I called louder to Bella. "Bella, would you please come here?" I begged her unashamed.

Bella came waltzing back in the room with an innocent smile on her face, her arms crossed, casually leaning against the door frame; the archangel has reappeared and has come to steal my dark lusting pleasure with her sweet innocence. "Yes, Edward, is there something that you would like?" I could only nod with a wicked smile on my face. "Would you like me to show you how eat another cookie?"

I quickly shook my head widening my smile; I wanted to play around with her some more, but the throbbing erection in my pants wouldn't go away. I needed her to help me release my sexual tension. "I would like you to show me how you manage to swallow fourteen inches, without gagging." I breathed ripping her top the rest of the way open, what buttons had not come off with my nail, went flying in every direction.

"I would be happy to give you that lesson, take me to your room…and I will show you."

Another well learned lesson indeed.

The end… Please R&R! You know I love them!

Thank you Mr. Christie for giving me the inspiration to write this!

LouLouCullen :)


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